Homeschooling middle school is a whole new ball game, you guys!
A New Homeschool Era
I’m officially entering a new homeschool era, you guys!
It’s crazy to think that it’s finally arrived, but here I am about to embark on the new journey of homeschooling middle school.
Homeschooling Middle School
While technically I have 2 older boys who were learning at home during their middle school years, I was very new to homeschooling. Plus, we spent much of those first years trying to navigate the K12 online school program before transitioning to bookwork.
That said, my daughter will be my first kiddo who will begin their middle school years homeschooled using a traditional self-paced curriculum.
She’s also my only child who has never been in a brick-and-mortar school setting.
All that said, I feel like I’ve learned enough about homeschooling to start my daughter’s middle school years off on the right foot.
Tips for Homeschooling Middle School
If you are about to embark on this journey for the first time these simple tips and ideas can help you begin this new homeschool era with confidence and grace.
These are the 5 areas I am focusing on during my daughter’s middle school years.
Plan a Transition Phase
I can’t even stress how important this is, you guys!
While it’s best to begin this phase during your child’s 4th-grade year, you truly can start it anytime during 4th-6th grades.
The earlier the better, though.
That said, it’s likely that if you are reading this, your child is well past the 4th grade, and that’s ok too! It’s never too late to plan a transition phase for your child.
If your child is about to embark on their 6th-grade year, simply utilize the last few months of their 5th-grade year, the summer in between 5th and 6th, or the first few months of 6th grade to transition from parent-led teaching to student-led success.
I was very hands-off with my older boys once they got into the middle and high school years, and I plan to do the same with my daughter.
For example, during my daughter’s 4th and 5th-grade years, she went from us sitting beside her to teach each lesson to her reading through the lesson herself and bringing it to us after for discussion and grading.
While I don’t technically focus much on the grading part of things, checking over her work helps hold her accountable — especially since this is my kiddo who is known for filling in blanks with ‘I don’t know’ or rushing through her work with half-finished answers.
All that said, it’s never too early to begin practicing student responsibilities!
I’ve encouraged my children to be responsible from the start by utilizing pacing guides, having them practice copy work, and helping with our weekly lesson planning sessions.
A transition phase is necessary for middle school success!
Encourage Kids’ Involvement
While planning a transition phase is important for your children, this one will be essential for your sanity.
Start the year by asking your children what their goals are.
Then, involve them in every step of the planning process to help them reach those goals.
Keeping children involved will not only teach them responsibility, but it can also enable them to be in charge of their entire learning experience by the time high school rolls around.
My goal for this year is for my daughter to go from planning beside me to planning on her own.
First, I will sit down with her each week while she plans out her weekly goals.
Then, I plan to supervise as she plans out each day.
Finally, when the week ends, we will discuss what worked and what didn’t.
After making the tweaks we need to the process, I plan on letting her fly solo.
Most children should have this down by the mid-year point, and that is definitely our goal.
Set Expectations
While the objective is to have kids make their own goals and be productive with their time, branching out on their own and accepting the responsibility that goes with it will take time.
This is why we, as parents, need to set expectations.
While yes, our involvement needs to taper off as children grow older, setting expectations should still be a part of the parent-child relationship.
Then, when they reach adulthood, we can confidently send them out into the world on their own.
Setting expectations will help your child thrive through middle school and beyond!
For example, I plan to set the expectation that lessons must be finished by Friday evening, or there will be no free screen time over the weekend.
I don’t worry about whether she completes work in every subject every day or if she only works on school in the evening hours, as long as she presents me with quality and finished work by Friday.
Since we limit screen time during the week, this should be a huge motivator for her!
Let Them Fail
This is the perfect follow-up to setting expectations.
Part of why it’s important to set expectations is to learn and experience the consequences that come with failing to reach those expectations.
Not going to lie, I’ve spent much of my life as a mom making lists, nagging, and setting rules, and I’m totally over it.
Now that all my kiddos are old enough to take care of themselves in most areas, I want to be relaxed and let them flourish or fail on their own.
Not only will this allow them to learn important and sometimes hard lessons, but it also gives me the chance to stand back and watch before jumping back in to celebrate their victories and support them through their defeats.
Life will always be a learning experience for our children, and letting them fail on their own is the only way they will learn to pick themselves back up again.
This is a huge part of growing up, and middle school is all about growing up, you guys!
Let Them Be Kids
Speaking of growing up…
I think one of the hardest things to remember when it comes to homeschooling this age is that middle schoolers are still kids.
Thinking back, I can remember how excited I was to watch my oldest grow up and reach all of his milestones.
I couldn’t wait for him to be potty-trained, start school, or be big enough to ride a bike.
Fast forward to the birth of my third child, and all I wanted to do was hold on for dear life!
I truly wanted to keep her little as long as humanly possible because I finally realized just how fast it all goes!
Letting your homeschooled middle schoolers play and indulge in some of their little kid habits is ok.
Truthfully, I think kiddos grow up way too quickly in today’s society, and if my 11-year-old wants to spend her time in between lessons coloring, playing with dolls, or playing dress up I’m sure going to let her!
I’d rather have a preteen kiddo who can find joy in the little things than have one who is glued to her cell phone or crying over what someone posted on social media.
Plus, the middle school years are some tough years, you guys!
These kiddos are stuck in a strange place where they can feel their childhood slipping away while the reality of adulthood begins fading into view.
Let them be little as long as possible. Don’t rush the growing-up process and enjoy every single moment!
The Struggles of Homeschooling Middle School
Middle school can be a trying time for many youngsters — even the homeschooled ones.
While homeschoolers may not have to face bad teachers, bullies, or forgetting their locker combinations, there are a few struggles that most middle school students will encounter during these years.
These are just 4 of the struggles you may face while homeschooling middle school.
The Emotions
The middle school years can be hard, and when something feels overwhelming to a preteen, there are usually some big emotions attached.
While I faced some of that with my boys at this age, I feel like we are already knee-deep in this with my daughter.
Girls have even bigger emotions, you guys!
For example, my daughter can go from content and joyful to crying in about 2 seconds flat.
Everything just hits harder at this age.
Homeschooling through middle school emotions means using all the patience you can muster up.
It might also mean starting your day over, stopping formal learning altogether, or adding in some much-needed downtime.
Middle schoolers need parental support during these years, as well as space and healthy outlets to release their emotions.
The emotions that come with this age are rough, you guys!
The Academics
Not only do the academics get more challenging at this age, but the course load during these years can sometimes feel overwhelming to youngsters. Children will be learning some difficult concepts, and when you combine that with middle school emotions, there will be struggles.
As a homeschool mom who floundered through math during my middle school and high school years, I simply don’t have the skill (or patience) required to teach my daughter all the math concepts she needs to know.
Our boys had their K12 teachers, which I was thankful for, but my daughter won’t have that.
Thankfully, my husband has stepped in as a math teacher, but this girl is stubborn and flourishes best as a self-learner.
For example, she taught herself how to ride a bike at the tender age of 6 after getting frustrated with our teaching methods.
So I know she will have to navigate some of this hard stuff on her own.
Pray for me, you guys!
All that said, some kiddos may need outside-of-the-home help.
This does not mean you failed your child.
Quite frankly, it means the opposite.
Hiring a tutor or participating in a co-op to help your child succeed in certain subjects is one of the bravest, most selfless things you can do as a homeschool parent.
These academic years will be stressful, but you can get through them together!
Motivation
Due to the emotions and academics this age group has to face, children can lack the motivation to get started and keep going.
Throw the confusion of puberty on top of all that, and you’ve got a battle on your hands!
That said, all children are different in this area.
For example, our oldest and youngest both struggled with the motivation to complete their schoolwork on time.
Our middle kiddo, however, loved school and was always motivated to finish by lunchtime so that he could spend his afternoons hanging out in our front yard tree or our backyard sandbox.
That said, finding things that motivate your middle schooler to be productive can be a challenge.
Pay attention to what brings them joy, how they are using their time, and if consequences work better than rewards.
For example, I mostly leaned on reward systems for my oldest kiddo.
My middle and youngest, however, both need more consequence-focused experiences in order to learn and change their behavior.
I will be creating a new allowance system for my youngest to lean on during her 6th-grade year, and I’ve got my fingers crossed that it will work, you guys!
While it’s essential that she flourishes when it comes to productivity this year, I plan to be somewhat flexible in this area as I understand that middle school emotions are strong.
Find what motivates your children to grow and flourish during their middle school years!
Socialization
Ok, first I just have to say I’m so tired of the ‘homeschoolers aren’t socialized’ myth.
However, I do have to touch on socialization for homeschooled middle schoolers.
Tweens crave relationships and acceptance.
This is why it’s incredibly important to make sure your middle school kiddos are spending time making quality friends.
I have strong memories of needing to be around my good friends at this age, and my 11-year-old daughter definitely craves it even more than I ever did.
As a full-time RV family, we definitely go through phases with this.
She tends to have friends all summer long, but they taper off in the fall as other RV families head south or part-timers head home.
To be completely honest, this is my biggest struggle as the parent of a homeschooled middle schooler.
To put it simply, I’m an introvert homeschool mom, and I always look forward to the end of summer.
Getting children involved in activities with peers can be a wonderful tool at this age, allowing them to connect with someone of a similar age with like-minded values and morals.
However, if in-person one-on-one type friendships are out of the question, consider pen pals instead.
While my daughter doesn’t participate in many outside-of-the-home activities, she tends to make friends easily and keeps in contact with all of her friends via letter, messenger, and FaceTime.
Make sure that building and keeping quality friendships are a priority for your middle schooler!
Homeschooling Beyond Middle School
Hopefully, following some of this advice and knowing you aren’t alone in this battle can ensure you come out on top once the middle school years have ended, allowing your child to conquer high school with confidence and independence.
Stay the course, pray a lot, and give your child the support system they need for homeschooling middle school and beyond.
Stay strong, you guys!
